A Dose of Reality

Zane would not have let me take a picture of him playing daddy, but I grabbed a couple without him knowing. This boy teaches me so much. He has one of the most compassionate hearts I know. And the way he processes ideas and reality are just beyond me, like he's an old soul in a little body, wiser than many grown men. I have to believe God has answered my prayers and has a hold of his heart.

The other day we were checking out at Walgreens and the cashier repeated the same comment she has made to him over months and many times on this particular visit. "He's so cute." Zane hid behind me in the checkout line while she repeated it two or three more times. She was sort of talking to him as if he is a baby, tone and ways she was trying to engage him. He tugged on my shirt to signal me that he wanted to whisper something in my ear. I bent down and he said "Why does she keep saying I'm cute. I'm not a baby. I'm a big boy. That's what you say to babies." I explained that big boys and even men are sometimes cute and people can't help it because he's truly so cute. He then went to hide behind a display as the cashier and another older woman started up again. I told them he didn't like to be called cute because he thinks babies are cute but not big boys and he's a big boy. They understood.

Then yesterday, after cleaning the great room windows, inside and out, and baseboards, we went to pick up Vanessa. Most of the furniture was pushed to the center of the room and curtains were down to be washed. Vanessa walked in and immediately excalimed "Whoa! What happened here? What are you doing, Mom?" I responded "I've been cleaning." I noticed Zane deflate and sigh "Mom . . ." He hid his eyes and mumbled something. I bent down to ask what was wrong and he replied "But I was also cleaning. I helped you clean." All I could do was hug him long and apologize that I said "I was cleaning" instead of "We were cleaning." I then told Vanessa that Zane helped do all the hard work and he did it well.

This morning as we were dragging the trash and recycling cans around back of the house, Zane wouldn't let me help him. The can is three or four times bigger than him but he was determined to do the task from beginning to end. I don't ask him to do this stuff. He asks me to move out of the way so he can do it.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus" ~ Philippians 2: 3-5

Time After Time

Zane spent a large part of one day setting up the Hot Wheels tracks throughout the house. Vanessa got home from school and they continued trying different arrangements and obstacles, testing how to increase and decrease speed so the cars would make it to the finish line. I love these moments -- when the kids work together and get so very lost in what they are doing that the rest of the world seems to stop.

If only we could stop and start time when we want. Zane is learning to wait and be patient and to use his time wisely while Vanessa seems to exhaust every second of every day. I recently shared with a couple of friends that Vanessa can be very much like the commercial where the mom tells her son they need to leave in five minutes -- the boy begins to imagine all he can unrealistically do in 5 minutes. That's so Vanessa.

The other day we were preparing to leave and I asked her to wait in her room while I wrapped up in the bathroom so I could come help her with a few things. Two minutes later she was in the middle of a new project and kept insisting she needed only a second more. I heard myself in her. :-) I get it. (Poor Daddy . . . :-))

Take Vanessa to Work Day

Vanessa's post from her classroom blog:

"Today I went to my dad's work. He is the assistant director of business development at OSU college of pharmacy. We first had a meeting with Dad's boss Erin and we met a few people. My dad does a lot of emails and meetings. We had to walk a lot. Then I helped Dad with his agenda for his meeting with his boss. Last I watched my dad's M.H.A ( masters of health administration) presentation. I had a fun time.

PS: It's a lot of work"

As her daddy pointed out, yesterday was her first grad class and his last. :-) She got to watch his last MHA presentation. She took notes and drew some really cool pictures. :-)

Ninja Attack (with some Incredible Hulk Smash)

Zane told me "Daddy, said I can't do karate."
Me: "I think what Daddy meant was that you can't just run up to someone and start kicking and karate chopping them. And you should probably save your karate spins for outdoors too."

He chopped and kicked and smashed the inflatable ninja all over the yard. Good thing more ninjas can be picked up at the dollar store. This ninja has had it.

Frog & Prince

Of course Zane is my prince. He's really holding a toad Daddy found in the yard. We heard of several people finding snakes in their yards this last weekend. Two of the people sharing both said they found three snakes. We only found a toad and bunnies but I bet there are snakes in our wood pile. :-)

Below are some more recent quotes and connections Zane shared.

"I shouldn't need to poop because I only drank something. When you drink something, you pee. When you eat something you poop."

"Mom, I dreamed of the Transformers. Maybe you did too and Daddy did too. If your brain is on while we sleep, we dream. If your brain is off, we don't dream."
Zane is finally realizing that just because we were in his dream doesn't mean we were actually there. (He was for sure we all dreamed about a red transformer that came to life, so he didn't think he needed to share the details, cause we were there.)

"If God didn't give us ears, we would not be able to listen."

"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." - Proverbs 2: 1-5

Wood you . . .?

Zane asked me before the picture above "Would you hang me from a tree?" Funny guy . . .

This last week Zane asked when I will buy him Skittles again. Of course wants are requested nonstop right now, so sometimes I just answer "Zane, you know the answer to that." But this time we were sitting on the front porch admiring the new growth in the yard when he asked. Right then it occurred to me that I could challenge him so we both would win. "Zane, if you pick up the sticks in the front yard, I will walk you to Bill's to buy Skittles." Zane replied "Really?! You would buy me Skittles?" and got right to work.

When he finished and we got to Bill's, Zane changed his mind to wanting Powerade instead. He asked if we could get one for Vanessa too. I told him since he worked harder than two people combined, I would let him choose one for his sister too.

JTM

It's been 11 years since I last hugged my daddy. This picture is from my high school graduation in 1995 -- makes me smile.

Do you remember the song Daddy's Hands? Maybe a little too country for some. :-) I studied my daddy's hands a lot, so the song was very dear to me. I remember watching his nervous tendencies being displayed in his hands.

As a meat cutter he had a lot of scarring too. I remember one knuckle protruding more than the others on one of his index fingers -- he cut it pretty badly and so the finger remained more bent than his others. He said he put the flesh and bone on a towel to place on the dashboard while he drove to the doc. His pinkie, I believe on his left hand, was paralyzed from cutting it almost all the way off. It just made his tea party pose more authentic. :-) He played guitar and if he neglected playing for any length of time, I remember him rebuilding the calluses before it was enjoyable again.

He shared one arm hugs with just about everyone. He joked with one hand out "Do you have $10 I can borrow?" He tapped the farthest shoulder from him to tease someone and to leave them wondering who did it. He would point his finger at your cheek when you weren't looking so when he called your attention, you turned your face into his finger. He was so silly...

"...Daddy's hands were soft and kind
when I was cryin'
Daddy's hands, were hard as steel
when I'd done wrong
Daddy's hands, weren't always gentle
But I've come to understand
There was always love
In Daddy's hands."

Hoodie Gang

Mission: To join together in weirdness to share and grow love.

Slogan: We spread love from our hood to your hood.

POV

I still have very vivid memories and images in my head of books with impressive illustrations from when I was very little. Some of the illustrations scared me. Some were probably not meant for little eyes, like a book full of paintings of purgatory and hell (although they inspired me to seek for information on an afterlife.) There was another book that I was intrigued by and looked at often. Again, another one that I'm not sure was meant for little eyes to try and comprehend but I loved the art and how I was able to look at the books with a different perspective: Favorite Haunts, by Chas Addams.

We've read a few different spins on the wolf's perspective for the Three Little Pigs and for Little Red Riding Hood, but when I brought the one below home from the library and read it to the kids, Zane pulled back from it. The next day I was rounding up books to return to the library and Zane pulled it out from under a rug in his room. I asked how it got there and he said "I hid it there because I didn't like looking at it." I can only imagine this will be one that will stick with him forever.

I'm intrigued by perspective -- how the brain makes connections and the experiences and influences (distorted or not) that help shape it.

Zane also shared the other day "I don't like the corners of my room anymore. I want my room to be shaped like Vanessa's." I suggested we consider trading rooms sometime in the future but when I mentioned how his cousins and friends love his room and think it's cool, he decided he might keep it.

True to Your Word

So in the beginning of sharing traditions such as Santa and the Easter Bunny, Vanessa was quite skeptical. She questioned things but our creative suggestions bought us time for her following along. We came up with some creative spins but I never really lied to her to try and convince her. (I've had a fear that if I lie to her about things like this, then why should she want to believe me when I tell her God is real and true, although I know she's felt God for herself, so no need to question Him.)

Last week, after I thought she was about to bust me as the Tooth Fairy (but she didn't), she started questioning things more. Some of her questions stemmed from conversations she had with her peers at school. I told Vanessa that I wanted to talk with her, and just her, soon. I was trying to hold off till after Easter.

Easter revealed more to her though -- she used her super sleuth skills and discovered a scrap paper with Daddy's handwriting that resembled the Easter Bunny's, so I made a plan to talk with her after church. Our conversation went well. She smiled because she was proud her instincts were right -- it's been Mom and Dad all along. We talked about make believe and fun. We talked about true and real. We talked about why it's important not to rat out the parents of our friends and family and to those who still believe. I noticed her demeanor change -- as if she is proud to be on the inside with the parents. :-) It's our secret that she won't share with Zane . . . at least for now (although I'm not completely convinced Zane is buying any of this made up stuff . . . :-))

Recoup

 

The kids were quite willing to pass out invites for the 4th annual egg-splosion. Vanessa said it was easier than selling Girl Scouts cookies.

Maundy Thursday was spent with small group peeps at our house, eating a ton of food and finalizing together how we would like to use money to give back to Hilliard.

We went to Good Friday services at Violet Baptist to remember and worship and hear Uncle Phil sing. Vanessa and Joel were invited to go up front to share Resurrection Eggs. They gave us our own set to bring home and the kids continue to play with them. After communion, we were invited to write what we would be remembering about what Christ did for us and then we placed the cards at the foot of the cross. You can read Vanessa's above. Zane wrote his name and some illegible stuff and said he loved Jesus. :-) He also asked if Jesus would be hanging on the cross later in the service.

Saturday was our church outreach and it was huge. Vanessa wrote about how she loved playing tag with G-ma and G-pa. :-) It was muddy but fun. Daddy hosed off our clothes when we got home.

Sunday we had a ton of visitors at church. It was our job to be sure they felt welcome and Vanessa and Zane were excellent with that and with sharing Mommy and Daddy. Before heading to church Zane asked if Jesus ever dresses as a bunny. What a good analysis and question. After church I was told by Pastor Kent that Zane helped share Resurrection Eggs, naming and showing everyone else what was inside. I wish I hadn't missed his "performance" but I'm still so very happy he got a turn too, and was so very brave!

We're recouping rest and normalcy this week. When we dyed eggs this year, we went for fifty shades of red (because I like to turn dark things into good things), to demonstrate the blood Christ shed for us -- bruised for our iniquities. (Isaiah 53:5)

Two Days Before

It's not all candy and bunnies.

This sharpie art is by a childhood friend from the coal mining fields of southern WV. She's an amazing artist, sharing her amazing gift through an independent business venture and teaching design to students at the University of Charleston. Shawna Kinder-Sigmon, was a sincere light in my world from 86-88. She accepted me and encouraged me to do all things good in life. She has held and still holds a very special place in my heart. I was so very happy when I reconnected with her on Facebook, around the time of the huge coal mining incident a few years ago. She created this piece of work in '92. A few years ago I noticed a Facebook post of hers in which she shared about this piece of work. I was so very touched and I told her. A year or so passed and I received a special package in the mail -- my very own copy! It took me a while to find the perfect frame but when I did, I hung it at the bottom of the stairs, to always remind me what each and every day is about.

"Ankle Fools'!!!!"

Zane has been hard at it this morning with his jokes. Some of the jokes make sense but not all. The first thing we had to tell him was that it's not "Ankle Fools'". (Perhaps because Vanessa started out with shoes and socks jokes.)

A couple of weeks ago Zane called for me to come upstairs so he could should show me something. He wasn't fooling. As I climbed the stairs, I was preparing to be present and be sure to fully appreciate whatever it was that he was very excited to share with me. I turned the corner of his room to find he had drawn all over and around his light switch. I wish he was fooling. He could tell from my immediate gasp that his choice for sharing his artistic talent was not an okay direction. As a result, he looked defeated.  I explained to him that we don't draw on the walls, floors, doors, ceilings, furniture, clothes, linens, etc. He replied, "But Mom, it's my room!" I went on to explain that although we call it Zane's room, it is sort of on loan to him and when something is on loan to us, it is extra important that we try to take special care.

He was willing and awesome with helping to clean off his masterpiece.