Zane!!!!!!

Our sweet baby boy Zane has arrived!

Zane arrived approximately 11:15AM this morning. He's anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks early, depending on whose schedule you go by. :) He weighed in at 5 pounds and 2 ounces and is 18 inches long. Yes, another little peanut. We can already tell he's a guy in a hurry to do lots of things and to get on his way, just like his daddy. He came fast today via c-section, after contractions reaching 3-4 minutes apart and water breaking at the check-in station. Once we arrived in triage, it was determined Mommy was already at 6cm, so they pumped her full of meds to stop the contractions and stall while the doc made his way through traffic to perform the procedure. Recovery is going well and much better than with Vanessa. Zane is learning to eat at a very reasonable and good pace. Daddy has already changed his first Zane poopy diaper. And Vanessa already loves her little brother tons and has showered him with lots of hugs and kisses.

At your service . . .

Lipstick Queen

"Breathe in . . .  [Mommy breathes in] . . . then breathe out. . . . Calm your body, Mommy . . ."

I actually laughed at this when I saw it. When Vanessa anticipates being in trouble for something, she goes right into trying to calm us down before we've had a chance to react. I tried to explain we don't play in Mommy's purse without breaking a smile. I did relatively well. She was convinced she looked pretty: "It looks pretty, Mommy. I just put on your lipstick. It's okay, isn't it?"

Perspective

Vanessa loves the camera.  Often she takes less than flattering pictures, so I'll volunteer to take on the task of editing and weed out the bad ones. :) Here are a few of my faves from over the last few months.

The above pictures were taken while eating out with friends. I love that she intentionally takes pictures of my hands, even if they do reveal aging and the fact that I wash them obsessively. (She also took a picture of a stranger picking his nose from one table over. I'm sure he'd appreciate me not sharing, even if we don't know him. And fortunately I didn't notice until scrolling through pictures later that evening.)

                                              

Yum! Toast!

"Me in Mommy's sandals."

While covering her mouth: "Grandma and Grandpa kissing.They're kissing!" (Mommy added the b&w.)

"My hand over the camera." For someone who loves Space right now -- it looks like Mars or Jupiter, doesn't it?!

"Tree pieces." (We finally had an old and dangerous silver maple taken down. We're hoping Daddy will one day turn what is left of the trunk into a foundation for a playhouse.;-)

"Mommy, kiss me." (Mommy going through mail on the front porch.)

"Look! I take a picture of my face!"



"Daddy sleeping."

Last Monday Vanessa came into the kitchen and asked "Mommy, I need the minicard to take pictures. Please?" Then a few short moments later she said "Watch. I'll push W and it will go out. I push T and it goes in." And then as she faced the camera in the mirror she said "I'll just take a picture of myself."

When thinking about Vanessa's perspective and the simple things that make her happy, the following quote came to mind.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." ~ Unknown

If only we could all try and live by this idea each and every day . . . I have found that if I depend on things outside of my control to make me happy, I'm not as happy as often as I could be.

Another quote that spoke loads to me: "Happiness is not a life without problems, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way."

Other than the desire for convenience, we don't need much. I've often told Daddy (Adam) that I'd be happy living in a box as long as we are together. And although at times the idea of winning the lottery sounds grand and awesome, I would never want the winnings if it meant driving a wedge between me and my loved ones. Relative happiness shatters easily while absolute happiness is eternal and unlimited.

Riding into Fall

Where did the summer go?! Wherever it went, we made the best of it. And now here we are, many playdates and playgrounds later, entering into fall and about to receive a new member of the family. Vanessa has matured so much over the last few months. She still doesn't like to talk about Zane too often, at least with Mommy, but her sweetness with littler ones has grown a lot, leaving me assured she'll accept and love Zane bunches once he gets here -- once she's able to see that he's not merely a growth in my tummy, but someone who needs tons and tons of love and gentle care, just like her littler friends and cousins. I hope Zane likes to be tickled, because Vanessa has become the Tickle Queen. And I love how she scrunches up her nose as she bends down to babies to engage them and hug them. Thank you to friends and family for being patient with her through this maturation. :)

These are a couple pictures from the Franklin County Fair this year. The hotness and humidity during the week of the fair summarized the weather for the summer really well. With Mommy about 6 months pregnant, all the fair food mixed with the heat didn't end up being a good idea. But the trip and later dehydration symptoms were worth giving Vanessa an opportunity to ride her first amusement rides. She loved the car-go-round, so much so she didn't want to ride the wave runner. At first she was a little upset that Daniel got a sword but she didn't. After getting her own sword and beginning the ride, she had to get off. I think she liked being closed in more, like in the car with Audrey -- she seemed to feel more secure and in control. That or she has to be the one to drive. :) And Daniel won her first fair prize for her -- a stuffed orange snake. What a gentleman!

*Thank you to Daniel and Audrey's mommy, Lindsay, for the pictures!

Poker Face

Oh gee . . . another long-winded post by Mom. :) Not to worry -- some of the flow has been scheduled for a while, so the date doesn't always reflect when I've planned a post, although with this particular one, I woke this morning with the desire to share how and what I'm learning.

In the last year or so God has been dealing more with me on my issues of worrying. I worry about what others think. I worry about security. I worry about being abandoned. I worry about keeping people happy. I would do things to gain the approval of others. These things make me an obvious target for manipulators and abusers. I could go into all the psychoanalysis as to why I believe I've been this way, but I'll spare those who get bored easily. :) Through learning to parent and hoping to keep my own children from feeling the same way, these issues continue to slap me in the face, like if I go through enough and my well-intended reactions backfire on me enough, I'll get why my worries and need to please are not healthy, and a change in thinking is necessary.

I used to ALWAYS react and feel the need to explain myself. At times I've felt the need to call bluff, just because I felt I had the better hand, to make sure others opinions of me were good, or they were happy with me or understood me. Through much reading and much-needed friends and family (who get me and understand me without me having to explain myself) I'm finally getting it. (And let me say that some of these people are ones I would never have expected to reach out when they have, in a seemingly ordained way.) And like many have pointed out, and as scriptures support, I'm beginning to feel released, like the burden of worry is being lifted from my shoulders and like I'm beginning to fully accept myself as the person God has intended me to be, and fully accepting that what He thinks of me is the only thing that truly matters. Oh, and let's not forget the reminders that not all battles are for me to fight and not all problems are for me to help fix.

I know where I stand with God. That's awesome. In recent times I've become better at looking at life situations and then asking what I'm to take from each. So with recent unwarranted emotional, mental and verbal attacks of slander and lies (an attempt to manipulate and use me), I've determined I'm to practice self control. I have found it to be easier and better to fold my perfect poker hand to practice and demonstrate it rather than call bluff. . . . But don't let me make it sound too easy, although it is coming more easily. Many applicable words, phrases and scriptures have been shared over the last few days, but the one that spoke the most to me was from Psalm 141:3 -- "Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips." And then another that comes to mind is Luke 6:28 -- "bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." To attempt to live and pray by the scriptures makes demonstrating self control easier. So yes, I'm folding my hand and walking away . . . with head held high . . .

Fiber Effects

"Mommy, I need berry juice so I can poop a little. No. . . how about orange juice so I'll take a BIG poop?!"

Labels

I despise negative labels. Yes, sometimes things and people require labels to distinguish them from others, but other times negative labels are assigned in a hasty and thoughtless way, often to excuse holding whatever or whomever to normal expectations. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure out of frustration I've used a label that might be deemed negative, but I find that repeating a negative label to children and to others over and over again to be disheartening and too frequent. I'm a product of some negative labeling -- my high energy made me difficult and hyperactive, or too talkative. Some teachers and adults found my stirring, busyness and inquisitive nature as annoyances. It would have been really easy for me to fall into a self-fulfilling prophecy where I didn't think I was worth the time and energy and that my questions were never worth asking, and at times I have struggled with that. But instead, for the most part, those experiences drove my desire to work with children to some capacity, as someone who could relate to those often left to the side or behind to figure things out on their own, or because my role model just didn't know what to do with me.

I can remember asking questions in classes that teachers didn't know how to answer, and instead of them acknowledging that they couldn't answer and finding a way TO answer, they would grow very angry with me, like I was undermining them in some way. When teaching, the first thing I emphasize with my students upon meeting them is that I'm not perfect -- I don't have all the answers and I'll make plenty of mistakes. I go on to explain that we work as a team and I will be there to help them as I am able, and if I can't do it, I'll try to find the means. I found this to help me make special connections with just about any kid, which has fueled my love to work with them or for them even more. I noticed that kids would speak up with no hesitation if I made a mistake in some way. I loved it, and it seemed to make them feel very important.

Of course with a daughter whose mind is always racing with new and old thoughts, I sometimes worry how others will accept her. She's highly analytical which leads me to believe she'll stump a person or two with some of her questioning. I recognize that not all have the patience to deal with such high energy, but it is my hope and prayer that once she begins school, she will be placed with very understanding and patient people -- people who get her and know how to channel her awesomeness. I don't want her interactions to label her negatively. And I know if she's surrounded by more understanding people than not, she'll overcome the tendency to label herself in a negative way and will build a strong self image -- a challenge and task I'm willing to take on to the best of my ability.

Here Vanessa wanted to label herself with mailing labels, like they were stickers. Mommy warned her that they would stick more than stickers and be hard to peel off and it would probably hurt a bit, so maybe it wasn't a good idea. She was determined to try anyhow: "I can do it, Mommy. It's really okay, Mommy." This was an instance I figured was okay to turn into a learning experience, as long as we kept them out of her hair. :) When she tried peeling them off herself, she decided it hurt and she needed help. She had no problem asking for help (after two years of teaching her to calm down and ask for help when she needs it. One of her first sentences learned was "Mommy, help?" Soon after she learned "I'll try first.") She let me help her. :)

Other labels I'd like her to avoid are "a know-it-all" and "arrogant" -- so we discussed how sometimes we need to listen to others, especially when they want what is best for us.

Happy Grandparents Day

Vanessa painted a picture for Grandma and Grandpa today. When I asked her to make a picture, she said she HAD to paint one for them. She painted Grandpa first (left), then Grandma (middle), and then herself (right).

"Grandpa helps me fly like a butterfly! Grandma makes me soooooo happy!"

She's incredibly blessed.

Apple Madness

We were determined to pick Honeycrisp today, even if it meant scrambling from one appointment to the next. Friends are coming and going to Lynd's Farm all day today. We've all been sent in different directions to pick. People were arriving in swarms. We hit the early lunchtime crowd but as we were leaving, no one was waiting in line to pull into the orchard. I believe there are three Honeycrisp sections. We picked in what I think is the newest section, one we've never picked in before. The trees were young and short but they all had beautiful fruit, and Vanessa was able to reach most apples all on her own. She practiced her apple picking skills -- explaining you look for apples with no bruising or bad spots and then you twist, twist, twist and pull gently, to avoid damaging the tree and apple. She became a master at it. I didn't think to take video until the end of her picking.

I still had another bag to fill when Vanessa decided she needed a break to eat an apple. She downed the whole thing and didn't want to be bothered while chomping away . . .

At one point Vanessa was bonked on the head by a branch and an apple. She decided that it might be wise to wear a helmet when picking apples, which just so happened to be in the car. She let me finish filling the last bag and then as a compromise, she wore her helmet for the ride home. :)

When we talked about the possibility of Zane joining us next year, Vanessa exclaimed that he'll need to ride in his own wagon. ;-)

Hot Air Balloons

A couple weeks ago we went to Balloons & Tunes. Vanessa thought it was quite impressive. She pleaded with us to take a tethered ride, but we knew she'd freak once it was her turn. (She's dug her fingernails into me pretty deep during elevator rides, so why take the chance?) So instead we watched and talked about our favorite balloons and also played on inflatables and with other various outdoor toys, till it was time to illuminate the balloons. The music we heard was played well but was hard to hear due to us hangin' by the motorized pumps for the inflatables.

The strawberry balloon was Vanessa's favorite.

When we tried to begin a discussion on how a hot air balloon goes up in the air, Vanessa didn't hesitate to tell us that the hot air from the fire makes it go up. I'm not sure where she gathers some of her knowledge. Adam insists he didn't tell her and I tried to think back to related TV shows. I was clueless but she obviously got it somehow.  I told her she was right and that next year we'd talk about the parts of a balloon and related gases. :)

On our way home Vanessa was concerned as to why the Moon hadn't come up.  Then while driving along 270 we happened to look over to see an incredibly large moon coming up directly in the middle of the Columbus skyline. Vanessa was relieved. She's very interested in Space. She tells me often that she will travel there one day and will leave Mommy and Daddy here. She knows the Moon consists mostly of rock but she still has many other things to wonder about.

Vanessa: "Daddy, I have you a question . . . "

Daddy: "What's that, Vanessa?"

Vanessa: "Does the moon have legs? And does he have a mouth . . . with teeth?"

Labor Day

It's hard to believe we're just weeks away from Zane's arrival. I didn't do a very good job taking pictures with either pregnancy. Part of me doesn't want to remember how my body changes during this time. But then I think about how this might be my last opportunity to capture this stage of my life, so I might appreciate a picture years down the road. I wanted so badly to take better care to not eat too much, to eat all the right things, and to exercise. Wishful thinking . . . but Vanessa's energy has helped combat the several extra pounds I gained when pregnant with her.

And with all that is going on, I haven't been able to think much about the arrival process. This has prevented a lot of anxiety, and since now we're unsure how this little guy might come into the world, based on his current position, I'm glad I haven't wasted too much thought and worry.

I went into labor with Vanessa but had a c-section because she was breech. If we have to have a c-section with Zane, I wonder if I'll even go into labor or instead make it to whatever scheduled surgery date. I want to avoid a c-section if possible, mainly due to the recovery and the awareness I lack after the surgery. I won't feel guilty or like I'm less of a woman for having to deliver c-section -- I thank the Lord for giving us means to know the best route for the safety of Mama and Baby.

Either way, I can tell my body is preparing for something. I'm sore, uncomfortable and often find it hard to breathe -- all things expected when nearing our possible Labor Day (a day of no relaxation but lots and lots of work!) Zane is really active still. He likes to stretch out to see how far he can take the uterine wall. I can feel when he switches the position of his legs. And every once in a while it feels like he's using his fist to punch -- perhaps mastering survival skills for dealing with his rough-and-tumble sister. Vanessa was pretty calm and content at this point, moving subtly and hiccupping tons. So who knows what we'll get with him.

So to sum it up -- really no anxiety but tons of excitement for our Labor Day!

Buckeye Princess

Our football season this year isn't complete without a Buckeye Princess.

We hadn't said a thing to Vanessa about the season opener being today, so it was really odd to us that she came into our bedroom this morning with her OSU blanket while explaining that she would need it to go see football soon. I asked her if she was psychic. :)

Mommy presented her new tutu this evening. She was tickled. "O-H-I-O! Go Bucks!"

We don't like to boast, but we expect to go a long way on the field tonight . . .

Helping Hands

I realize that by posting before pictures, I'm setting myself up with a task for sharing after pictures. Oh well . . . I'll do my best. So recently we've begun to work on Zane's room. We had hoped that we could make this room more normal by adding a real fourth wall, but since we were not prepared for the certain need, we've justified that Zane can be happy in this room for a few years, until we are able to take on a really huge project. Many have seen our "funky" room, others have heard about it, and still, a few have asked what our plans are. Zane is lucky to get Mommy's funky craft/sewing/teacher stuff storage room. Daddy is now sharing part of his man cave with Mommy so Zane can have his own space. Thank you, Daddy.

We've never touched this room since buying the house over 7 years ago. It still has its Disney carpet from the late 70s or early 80s. And there's a huge skylight that is right in the middle of the ceiling/fourth wall that slants at a gradual 50-or-so-degree angle. For how it was used, there was no need to really touch it until now. For the last 4 or 5 years a friend had been slightly interested in the Disney carpet for a friend of hers that has all things Disney. We even talked about how it might be a good item for eBay. But because the carpet is tacked and glued down so well, and because it is so old, it noticeably fell apart as we tugged ever so gently on it. So now, to avoid an extra huge mess, our plan is to leave it be and just add layers -- some padding and carpet remnant that can be puked on and destroyed with no major disappointment.

The color of Zane's quilt and crib skirt is sea foam or mist. We're planning to paint the room gravel. And the new blind for the skylight is subtle silver. Because we're limited on wall space, only a few things will go up -- a shelf with a special/personalized project and a canvas or two. Vanessa is excited about the transformation. She helped "decorate" a bit before we apply the final coats of paint. First she drew many Zanes in different colors: "Look at all my Zanes, Mommy." There was a pink, a brown, a grey, a purple, a yellow, a red, an orange, a blue, a black and a green Zane. Here's the first one:

We then painted using different media -- craft sticks, Q-tips, straws, tissue paper, paint brushes, and various body parts. And we didn't have to be careful!

By the way -- never disturb an artist at work . . . I forgot . . .

"Decorating" was enjoyable and it was quite easy to clean up with a bathtub nearby.

One might guess we had many helping hands with the first couple of stages of this transformation, when really we only had hers.