Vanessa has always been one in which we need to step back and let her attack in her own way first, being there to support or encourage if she gets hung up or seems to be running in a good direction. She finally turns to us when she's open for advice or suggestions. Sometimes, when we can't chance bad consequences, we have to interject and insist she hear us before moving forward. But even so, she still faces bad consequences sometimes, and then it's important we revisit the hindsight gained from the experience. She's becoming more accepting of that, probably because of the seemingly silly consequences we enforce.
Zane still wants to hold our hand some and is open for suggestions up front, but even so, he tests things and instead of shrugging off the seemingly small things, we have to be there to enforce the consequences. Really the only consistent thing about solving life's puzzle is that there are consequences, right?! So I guess all that is to say that as a parent it is my job to teach them cause and effect and how to handle the celebrations and blows. I can't control the order in which the pieces are placed, nor should I try.
