Through Kindness

Zane begs to help with dishes. He told me "Mom, it's good that I help you with chores." I asked how he knew it was a chore and good. He replied, "Grandma said doing chores helps you." I said, "Did she?! Your Grandma is really smart. I like her thinking. And I love that you enjoy being helpful. Grandma wants only the best for you."

Even though I have to remind him to put away his toys, I don't ask him to help with much. He just  loves to. Being extra considerate comes naturally for him.

Who's having the most fun?

Do you ever have those times when you wonder who's having the most fun? This was one of those times. :-)

Adventurous

We hadn't seen our cousins Carson and Keldon in a while. After the visit I asked Vanessa how she would describe the boys. She answered, "They are adventurous." I asked if that was a good thing and she replied, "Yeah, sometimes. But I don't always like adventurous." I wondered aloud whether or not adventurous was good this time. She thought so.

When Zane was asked what he enjoyed most from this visit, he smiled through his teeth and exclaimed "When Uncle Leonard went up that big mountain!" Vanessa was a little uneasy taking off into the woods, worried if we would find our way back. Perhaps that is the part of adventurous she doesn't like. I assured her that Uncle Leonard would not get us lost, that he knows the area better than anyone--a newborn there and growing up there. I also asked Aunt Tammy if Vanessa's nervousness and worrying brought back memories of when I was little. Aunt Tammy chuckled.

Thinking of Vanessa and Zane's Pappaw's birthday coming up, I can't help myself from thinking that he's smiling knowing we recently hung out with his baby brother and family. We'll go back soon. We have homesteads and land to explore.

Santa Rainbow

Zane was gifted a pet Betta for Christmas. We considered one for his birthday but decided there were other things he was more interested in and wasn't sure he really wanted the responsibility of a fish. Plus, we had convinced ourselves that age 6 might be a good rule of thumb for a pet -- it seemed to work well for Vanessa. Then the weekend before Christmas, our dear friend Cal, without knowledge we considered one for his birthday, gave him a small aquarium she couldn't resist. Zane loves Horton!

So Santa brought the fish for Zane. And when asked what to name his new pet, Zane said "Santa Rainbow." A perfect name!

Santa Rainbow is very active and quite engaging. He stares at you and begs for food and we have figured out that he likes to watch TV, especially Super Mario Bros on the Wii U. Zane is willing and sometimes eager to feed him.

Growing Side by Side

I'm not anxious for the kids to worry about the future for fear they'll be leaving their childhoods behind. I'm finding they find their joy just being together, tangling their roots into knots. They are a generation planted beside parents who have roots tied tightly together. How blessed we are.

*Photo credit to Paul and Lindsay for the adult group shots!

"It's the real thing."

Just ask Daddy -- it's "the pause that refreshes."

Zane begs to drink Coke. We tell him it's an adult beverage. His reactions to little sips or tongue touching drops on top of a can lead us to think he might end up just as addicted as his old man. Zane told me recently that I can be so mean. I asked how and he said "Cause you don't buy me whatever I want." Is it weird that this was somewhat a proud parent moment for me?

For all of his help picking up soda for Dad and Mom, though, and although not pictured here, he chose a treat of caffeine free grape soda this day. So don't feel too sorry for him. :-)

*Slogans from 1929 and 1969

Zane-Centered Learning

Zane has learned some great math games from his sister.

I'm often asked by others what curriculum I use with my kids. I guess since I work on developing curriculum others assume I must use them with the kids. I do have exercise books and such at home but we do not have any set routine or devotion. We definitely go with a natural flow of activity and hope for spontaneous growth. Not obligating ourselves to the routines of various programming out there has allowed us the freedom and flexibility to follow his interests, which encourages him to discover and retain. It seemed to work well with his sister and seems to be working well with him too. However, what I do with him in those spontaneous moments doesn't mean it's also great or even an interest for another kid. He's lucky to get moments of my undivided attention. His progression has been so much different than his sister. He doesn't know he's being taught and that's a good thing since he fights for independence with what goes into his brain and what comes out.

One day he asked me how to spell joy. Then he asked me to remind him how to make a J. I told him to think of a candy cane. When he asked how to make the Y, I reminded him that it is kind of like a V (cause he mastered V a long time ago in honor of his sister) only it has a really long stem. Apparently my reminders worked since I didn't have to physically help him.

 Unlike his sister, he attempts to color in the lines.

Although letters may be upside down or turned backward (so appropriate), I was proud of him for filling in the sound bubbles all by himself.

He likes play math games with dice so much that he's practiced determining greater than and less than. That monster of a number loves to eat the smaller number.

Is gluing an academic skill? Zane thinks so.

And can I tell the kid no when he asks to do addition on the iPad?

The Napping House

(Pictures above are of wrestling before nap -- this is common. It actually makes me feel really strong because I'm able to pick him up with one hand and toss him. I realize this won't always be the case.)

When the kids were younger it seemed they slept most of their day. Once we figured out a schedule it changed and we would have to reconfigure each plan accordingly. We continue to analyze the common traits of their internal clocks and figure out the best ways to meet their needs. Some days are more flexible than others.

Has anyone added behavior analysts to the list of jobs moms are responsible for? If not, they should. Napping needs and habits have been different for each kid. I could probably create spreadsheets and graphics to demonstrate the striking and subtle differences.

Vanessa seems to need more rest than her brother, relatively speaking. She's an early riser though. Zane's body seems to want to stay up later and sleep a little later in the morning. I'm not sure we were really designed to ever outgrow naps, although Zane can skip some but typically needs a day to recharge after 3 or 4 days.

Vanessa is a lucid dreamer, like me. About 6 months ago she told me that she figured out how to change a bad dream or a dream to something she likes. She said "If I know I'm dreaming and want to change it, I just spin myself in my dream and I can change it to something I like. If I don't like the new dream, I just spin myself again." She still talks about fire dreams she had when she was 3 and 4. They made quite the impression and still freak her out some, not wanting Zane to be alone or to do certain things. I also remember her sharing when she was about 5 that she had a dream that Zane was really tiny, like a shrunken version. This is also really upsetting to her. She sleepwalks and speaks gibberish sometimes. I've even found her brushing her teeth in the middle of the night while she's asleep.

I ask Zane if he dreams and what they are about. He doesn't usually remember, although he giggles and talks in his sleep. His biggest thing is jerking in his sleep and sitting up and whimpering, along with kicking and jabbing to be sure his sleepmate isn't resting well.

When I'm in contract, Zane and I are often napping together. He doesn't truly fight it and even rubs his nose to mine and says "Snuggle. Snuggle."

(These two didn't want to get out of bed the morning after the national champion win.)

The Morning After

Although he did as he should and kept it secret, we can only imagine Daddy wished for a Buckeye victory last night. What an awesome present!! And how can anyone top that?!

When we woke, the first thing Vanessa said with a big grin "Daddy told me in the middle of the night that we won, we kicked Oregon's butt. Forty to.... Wow, we did it!"

Since about noon this last Saturday, Zane has been wearing the same Buckeye shirt he has on in this picture. Without any fighting, he finally changed it this morning. :-)

And we celebrated with Daddy's favorites -- donuts. :-)

Wishing for Dog Days

Vanessa seems to feel more in control with dogs recently. Rather than her fully fretting over whether a place or home has a dog, she might ask so she can prepare for how to engage the animal. However, a few of her friends have some huge dogs that still seem to concern her some. We're thankful she is finding that there is a ton of joy in loving animals.

She's started asking for a dog but understands that dogs are a lot of work. (She also tells me that being a mom is a lot of work.) She recently explained to me and Zane that if you don't show a pet love and attention, it could die.

These last couple of days she also started wishing for Spring to get here. But are we really ready for dog days?

Poor Zane might need a little more time. He's been known to sit absolutely still on a counter for long periods of time just to be out of reach from a dog. He's also insisted we place him on our shoulders to get him up high, and he will stay there for a really long time, like forever.

Hey, kids, should we get a puppy for Dad's b-day?!

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway